Near Death Experience: The Epilogue

What I’m sitting down here to write is intended to be an epilogue to a post I made about four years ago called “Near Death Experience“.  It’s been four years and I never quite wrote that “Part 2” to the story, so I figured an epilogue was more appropriate.  So if you haven’t read about “the event” before, maybe you should start there.  I just had to re-read it for the first time and it was still difficult making it all the way through.  I had to pause a couple times, even. So let’s see… where to begin… Not long after I had that experience and posted the blog entry, on June 24th, 2010, I lost my job — and soon after, my

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Near Death Experience

On May 3rd, I received a bi-ventricular ICD.  It’s a pacemaker, intended to help my heart chambers beat in sync and in the correct order.  This device also has an extra wire that, in the event that my heart goes wacky, it will use electro-shock therapy to get me back into rhythm.  It will try this a couple times if it seems reasonable.  Or/then it will move directly into full-fledged defibrillation.  This is the kind of jolt that the paddles give a person after the doctor rubs them together and yells “CLEAR!”  This device was implanted because of the LBBB I developed after my septal myectomy. So aside from some adjustments that needed to be made, I was beginning to

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A New Condition

I went to the cardiologist’s today. It was mainly a follow-up from the time when, a couple months ago, when I was feeling awful and couldn’t even take a few steps (unless the ground was flat) before feeling short of breath and nearly passing out. I had an echo done then and everything looked fine. I have been thinking the medication I’m on may be contributing. It’s designed to make the heart pump with less vigor. I’m taking it as a precaution, though, to keep my heart from pumping out of control and erratically…. which may or may not happen. It’s basically helping me keep an even rhythm. And yes, it theoretically could be contributing. But my most recent EKG

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Worthless Space

I think I realized this blog was really only existing for one person. I have no interest in sharing such intimate details with anyone else. I didn’t/don’t care that anyone else reads. So now, since I’ve shut her out of my view and assume the opposite has occurred, too, I have little use for this space. Besides, only one person even bothered to ask for part 2 of my surgery blog. Just goes to show how many are truly interested. I’m not hurt by that, because it’s not surprising. I will probably end up changing this layout… maybe to something more appropriate to my online life. Less focus on this rotting corpse of a blog and more on Twitter and/or

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My Damaged Heart: Surgery Blog – Part 1

This is very difficult for me, because I have no idea what I’m going to write.  I usually have a few points; a few ideas or moments I want to convey before I sit down for something like this.  But I’ve not a single moment that stands out among the rest.  This is kind of the reason I am doing this; to connect back to it, to embrace it, to understand what made a difference and where I detached.  My therapist tells me this is important.  I agree.  I wasn’t going to do this.  I never seem to write about the big, huge events in my life.  Not because I intentionally try to avoid them, but because by the time

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