Closer
ormally, a story of this nature would begin with a line that goes something like “Boy, you think you know someone…..” But some stories are worthy of a little extra. Something like… “I have been seeing someone for 5 months and I just found out that everything about her was a lie.”
I’m still shaking a bit, now, even though I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around this for 3 hours or so. My stomach won’t stop turning.
I met Candice (Candy) on July 7th. She’s lived here since about July 12th or so. Confusing story on why that happened — that is, until you know the whole story. But I can’t even begin to go into the whole story. I’ll just inform my audience that this girl who I’ve been seeing for 5 months has told me lie after lie after lie. And for what, I will never understand.
Fact is — she’s apparently got a 3 and a half year old child.
Fact is — she’s recently cheated on me (and I wouldn’t doubt there were other times prior)
Fact is — she’s nothing like how she’s portrayed herself to me all this time. A totally different person, she is. One that I’ll never know because I hope I’ll never see her again.
I saw the signs. I’ve been suspicious of her the entire time. Nothing ever quite added up. But I chose to trust her even though she never trusted me. I know now that I MUST trust my instincts with people. No matter what. I simply must. I cannot be burned like this again. I cannot have my trust broken so harshly, so greatly, ever again. I mustn’t let any future loves be a victim of this charade. I will not allow her to ruin anything. I will let her continue on until she inevitably kills herself… and I will never let this enter my world again.
Really, though, that’s all this is. I believe she did not do this with malicious intent. She’s simply fucked in the head and has her eyes locked on self-destruction. Everything she does is counter-productive. I’ve seen this. I’ve tried to help. But those with a death wish will not grab a life ring no matter how good the guarantee is. She’s sick. I’m very sorry I ever knew her. As with anyone, though, you gain something from everyone you know. I’ve learned that I really should trust my instincts. She loved the movie Closer. If you haven’t seen it, you now know where she got the idea to build a relationship on lies from.
So how did I find out about all this? Her journal was left by my computer chair, right at my feet, as if it was done on purpose. I’m pretty damned sure she wanted me to know all this, so it was done on purpose. I figured I had somewhat of a right to do this, since she went through my little hand-written bus-trip journal yesterday. She found something she didn’t like. Well, I think that was really her saying
“Stop being so trusting of me and just read my damned journal! It’s been lying out in front of your for months but you just won’t read it! Here…. here… I’ll read yours and confront you on something. Will you do it, then? PLEASE!”
So think me the bad guy, if you will, for reading this. I wouldn’t have done it if my trust hadn’t been broken the night before. I wouldn’t have done it at all. It really has been sitting around for months and I never even thought about opening it up. But I’m so fucking happy I did, man. Jesus Christ, I still cannot comprehend what’s going on here. Just imagine if I hadn’t. How much longer would this have gone on?
I also came across some other very disturbing things, but I’m choosing not to make them public. I don’t want this drama to continue. I want it done. Over. Forever.
Anyone out there have a life-sized eraser?
