5:30am Monday (Today): I am awoken not by the…

5:30am Monday (Today):

I am awoken not by the sound of my alarm clock but rather my cell phone. Mom is on the caller-ID.

“Uh oh…” I thought.

Last Week (mid-week):

My father, who checked himself in the hospital last week for trouble breathing and general chest pain had been told by the doctors when he arrived that his pace maker was acting a little faulty and instead of “fixing” it they decided he should have a different one in place. And they did. And that went fine. They were thinking of letting him go over the weekend but he started to feel weak again. They wanted to try some different dosages of medication, keep him there a few more days, and see how things go.

3:00pm Sunday (Yesterday):

I bring some extra socks and underwear to him at his request. He’s not feeling great, but he expects to be out in a few days. I update him on my life and my feelings on the first day of work I had the next day, Monday. I leave.

“Uh oh…” I thought as I saw my mom on the caller ID. There’s very few reasons she would ever call this early. My grandmother must have fallen again and she needs my help getting her back on her feet. But that’s not it.

(The following are not exact quotes, but they’re as close as I can recall.)

“Your father’s in critical condition. They don’t know what happened but his blood pressure fell dramatically last night and he could barely breathe. The doctors just called me and told me I should go in. I know you have your first day today…. I even explained that to the doctor and he told me it would be best if you came in as well.”

I then got dressed to pick her up and drive to the hospital. She, meanwhile, notified his brother, Neil. His brother? My uncle? They barely even talk anymore. There’s no bad blood, but they’re just not close.

Neil was there as we arrived at the Intensive Care Unit. He had gotten word already that they took him to the Cath Lab to perform implants and whatever else necessary to get him into stable condition.

And then a lot of waiting….

They are able to get him into stable condition — and I, not given many options from Aetna, went in late today and had what would normally be considered a “good day.” I am truly looking forward to working there. I am excited about it — but the excitement has been dampened.

My dad, still in a stable yet critically ill condition, might have had a blood clot… might have picked up an infection… they’re just not sure. He did suffer from congestive heart failure. This is not the first time for that — but NEVER has it gotten this serious. But he’s under intensive care and being looked at by many people. His kidneys are very weakened, his heart is basically being pumped by a balloon implant, so as not to stress the heart any more, and his speech is silent. He is coherent when awake. In fact, he was unaware of why he had a dozen tubes and wires running in and out of him. This was expressed to us by a raised brow and a silently mouthed “what happened?”

This is very serious. One doctor asked my mother if there was any living will and thought we should discuss heroic actions, while another doctor said that would be jumping the gun.

And for some stupid reason, I didn’t see this coming… THIS soon.