Well, to save some time thinking and typing…

Well, to save some time thinking and typing out my experience this week, I am writing it out tonight, my last night here, in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

It’s sad to think that every night down here, …no — in fact, every waking moment I hoped someone would knock on my door. I have to laugh at my show of desperation and patheticness. I wrote a page or two on this a few nights ago, but I’ll spare you the extra-whining. One line from it summed it up pretty well, though.

“Finding comfort in solitude is not as easy as I’d thought.”

My week consisted of sitting on the couch (permantly denting it, I’m sure) and watching television. I witnessed Letterman’s speech, O’Brien’s speech, and Jon Stewart’s speech. (Letterman’s coming in first, with Stewart’s in a surprisingly close 2nd — Conan’s voice is just too hard to take seriously)

Occasionally, I would get up and snap a few pictures of the house, experimenting with different exposure lengths (*heavy* experimentation, seeing as I have no idea what I’m doing)

Had food, drink, and snacks-a-plenty.

I would randomly decide to sit on the front porch and watch the empty street lay before me. Took a trip to Eckards once for some mini-speakers to hear myself play on the keyboard. There was a young, pretty French girl working the checkout. I fantasized about asking her over, bought my stuff (which was a complete waste of money), and left.

One day, I went to the supermarket. That was my adventure for the day.

I wanted to send some emails but I can’t seem to figure out why it keeps saying “message not sent” — when it had worked once before. Oh that’s another thing. I got my phone working, OC seems to be out of my “home calling area” which I was pretty sure was NOT the case when I looked at the AT&T map. Now, I wonder how much I will be charged for these calls. I mainly just called my voicemail box to see if perhaps someone left a message and my phone just wasn’t working right, but alas… it was working just fine.

To a “T”, that was exactly my week. For years, one thing I wanted more than anything was to bring someone I love to that house. Spend a week, or even a weekend. Just me and her. And everytime I have an oppertunity with the house, I am not involved with anyone. Could there be a reason for this other than to watch me suffer? Argh.

I don’t know… I mean, YEAH! It was great to get away from work and all that I have to deal with during my day-to-day routine. But still, I was unable to get away from the most damaging thing……. myself.


Create until nothing is left to create.

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