So now what? John comes home on Tuesday, I…

So now what?

John comes home on Tuesday, I have to drive to Baltimore to pick him up.

Hopefully he’ll be getting a job at my store (assuming he *wants* to) and we’ll have another associate. We’re running really low on those at the store. It’s becoming very difficult and time consuming.

*tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all*

The anonymous person (see archives: July 16th and 18th and July 28th)

is a girl named Tricia.

Whether or not I should be talking about this is questionable… but what the fuck, right?

The other night I told her, all. She was surprised… and essentially admitted to having a crush on me as well, if you want to call it that. But she’s not your average girl, as she warned me. The many things she said didn’t convince me of anything I didn’t already know or care about. So we hung out last night and it was funny. I was quiet and really didn’t know what to say (not that I had to… her friends joined us and kept us company for the entire 5 hours we were at The Country Squire) and I think I just felt better knowing that she knew. And then there was nothing…

She just learned she’s moving in a week, so she won’t be at work anymore and unless she enjoys my quiet, observatious company and invites me to hang out… I just may never see her again. Wierd.

S’ok. She told me about all her mental issues which didn’t phase me a bit. She told me her issues with intimacy and I knew then and there that I couldn’t have a relationship with her. There will definitely always be a strange, small place in my heart for her, though. She made me feel like a little kid again, with my secret crush on the little girl that sat next to me. She helped me realize I wasn’t as numb to those things as I thought.

I found it amusing how she kept trying to change my mind. Her intentions were good… she was just trying to make sure I “knew what I was getting in to.” But I think if she wanted to, I’d surely still jump at the chance.


Create until nothing is left to create.

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