Gross Things
I
'm sitting here this evening with a hole in my back. See, I had a cyst removed this afternoon. It had to be carved out of me and filled with gauze. I'm in a bit of pain. I can only hope that when I wake up it will remain at this uncomfortable level but not higher. Gross.There's a fraud issue within Cingular Wireless and I'm one of the many affected. Someone was able to order a new phone once they called in and verified my name and last 4 digits of my social. This is no good. I just discovered it tonight, so I'll be working on that tomorrow. Whoever did this was not after a new phone. I'm fairly certain they wanted my address in addition to what they already had on me. And they got it while they changed my address to somewhere in Brooklyn. I hope this is not the start of something real big. Sucks.
My show last Thursday was ok. The venue provided many disappointments but supposedly people enjoyed our music. If you were there, feel free to let me know how you really felt. Many people didn't show up that I expected not to show up, but I kinda hoped you would. (pictures from the show available in the Media section of www.circuittheorymusic.com)
I've apparently lost something that I really didn't want to. Not at all. I appear to be living a bit of a nightmare. Is it my own fault? Some of it, maybe. But I've done nothing to deserve such cruel fate... fate which is stuck in a revolving door. Must I lie to end the cycle? This lonely heart of mine is like a house that's haunted by a ghost who doesn't live here but who's threat scares off everyone else from moving in. What do I do? This is rediculous. This sucks. This is grossly rediculous. Can't you see what kind of hell I'm in because of this?
And the ghost says "Go ahead. Let them move in. I want you to be happy. I am not there. I won't be there."
And the tenants say "That ghost, I cannot compete with. I am scared of that ghost."
But the ghost is not there. And she will be sad she's scared off such good tenants and happiness from the house. And the tenants will feel sad they cannot live there and for a moment they'll feel guilty, but they'll remain confident in their choice. And my lonely house remains vacant as another few boards are nailed over the windows, despite the beautiful interior and convenient marble-top island in the kitchen which everyone loves. Does any of this make sense to anyone?
Someone's gotta change. Someone's gotta take a fucking risk once in awhile, because this revolving door keeps kicking me in the ass.
Labels: ella, health, relationships
posted by Coz at 8:38 PM
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8 Comments
