Originally written/posted by Coz on June 10, 2005 in cozbaldwin.com – Uncensored.
“I hate emo rock,” she says as she takes the last drag from a cigarette she never smoked and turns off the TV. A few moments of silence pass between them as they stared at the same broken pattern on the carpet before he interjects a little chuckle.
A confused an annoyed “What?” is asked, as if to express disgust even by hearing his laugh.
“I just think it’s so weird, you know? We stare at the same fragments of carpet and come up with different theories for how it became so.”
“I really don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“No, you just don’t want to.”
It was at this time her desolation could not be retained any longer. She burst out in an absolute puerile explosion of tears and drool with such force, you’d think she hasn’t shed a single emotion in a year and a half. Her body went limp like she had just been shot in the chest. Unable to control herself, there were no words coming out of her mouth as she tried to rationalize out loud why she just lost control. Instead, only a small murmur was audible as she collapsed to her knees.
He allows her to get herself together after a few minutes. And in between her desperate sniffling, he asks “When will this be over?”
She promptly replies, “There is no ‘THIS!’ There’s nothing to be over, why can’t you get that?”
He sarcastically replies, “Right, right,” and passes her a napkin from the night stand.
The birds can be heard outside the window, beginning to wake up the day.
She’s able to let out a large sigh, finally. “Why? What did you see in the carpet?”
“I see this broken pattern, here, and figured it was from your shoes heel.” He says.
“Yeah. It is from my heel,” she says, “but I was picturing a cane had created it, even though I know you don’t use a cane nor is there a cane here.” and she begins to sob again.
There’s been times he’s tried to say things and it never comes out the way he intended. What he doesn’t realize is that it never will. And everything you think you know is only right because you believe it to be.
- Don't worry, this'll all be interesting when I'm dead.
ReminderSometimes I need to play this for myself just to remember what it feels like to smile. And it doesn't just make me smile because of the message (though it never fails) but because someone took the time to get her to record it for me.
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