Don’t worry, this’ll all be interesting when I’m dead.

‘Twas the night before surgery and all through the hotel, not a creature was stirring, not even a micro-bacterial virus in my nasal passages.
I’m sitting here at 11:30pm due to wake up at 4am and I’ve got some sort of ointment up my nose to prevent and viral infections overnight. These guys don’t take chances. I’m also very sore in my groin region due to the heart cath the other day. My arms are bruised up and down from a dozen needles going in me over the last week. This is not how I pictured my “night before” I feel awful. I’m glad I have no responsibilities for the next few days.

So I’m not so sure I have much to share here. I am trying not to think about it. The more I do, the more nervous I get. Today I lost my patience and stopped being so friendly with everyone. Just very quiet and short with them. I had such a hellish day today. It wouldn’t surprise me if I oversleep tomorrow. I sure hope not but what can I do?

I’m inclined to write out all my feelings as if I was preparing to die. Well luckily I don’t hide my feelings and those whom I love and are on my mind know who they are. I hope they remember it forever.

Take care. Ill probably be out of the OR by noon if you want to call my mom. I don’t suspect ill be able to make/take calls or send any tweets until late afternoon at least.

Thanks to all those who’ve sent well wishes. I do appreciate it.

Final reminder:
I’m at the Cleveland Clinic for open heart surgery called a septal myectomy to improve my hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy. If all goes well I should be on a plane home on Jan 30th. Ill be recovering for at least 4 weeks.

Talk to ya soon!

The Missing Piece Meets The Big O by Shel Silverstein.
I don’t know how this evaded me during my childhood, but I don’t recall ever reading it. Regardless, it’s a story that all too many of us can learn from at any age.

Yeah. This is so me.

Last week it was sprung on me that I needed dental clearance before surgery. WTF?! My mouth is in bad shape right now. So… last night I went to the dentist’s. He denied signing off on me. I’m too much of a risk. But I should have the Cleveland docs call him to discuss it and they can get a better idea of what they’ll be dealing with.

Fuuuuhhhhhhk.

So this morning I called the surgeon’s office. They didn’t cancel anything and they didn’t see a need to speak with the dentist. Instead, I have a dental appointment first thing in the morning once I arrive in Cleveland… before the pulmonary appointment. I will be seen by a dentist who only deals with cardiac patients and he will know exactly what’s acceptable and what’s not. If necessary, there will be a little time to do some emergency work to try and get me “infection free” and ready for the surgery. No guarantees, though.

I was also told that I will still be able to get the pulmonologist to look at me and that alone may hopefully result in the trip being worth it.

So I can relax a little for now. Cross your fingers for me.
This has made for quite a stressful birthday morning for me.

In the mood to write, I am not. But I haven’t done so in awhile, during a very hectic time in my life, so I figure I should.
(side note: I do “tweet” a lot, so you can at least be paying attention to that…)

So, what’s going on. New Years just happened. Dan called me a couple nights before and invited me to something quite special. A private party in Brooklyn with Amanda Palmer from The Dresden Dolls, along with 60 or so other people, followed by a concert of hers at The Bowery Ballroom.

Admittedly, I’ve never been able to get into her music but I could appreciate it and the conviction she puts into it. So, I agreed to go with him because I thought it would be a crazy adventure to go into Brooklyn for only the 2nd time ever. It ended up not being a crazy adventure, but more of a pleasant, dream-like evening which was a real good distraction from the typical New Years celebrations.

There was no focus on the glittery ball, Times Square, the time, or anything else but ourselves; a room full of strangers, each with our respective vices, shames, habits, and obsessions to give up.

You see, we all were given a piece of paper to write down one thing we want to let go of. After midnight, we all sat around the perimeter of the place and the room went silent. We were lit mainly by candles around the room. We put all our papers into a tin bucket and then we were all given tea candles. The hosts came around with candlesticks and lit all our tea candles, bringing me back to the annual Christmas Eve Mass when I used to go with my grandmom. They came around with the bucket again and we all placed our candles inside, burning all our papers into smoke and ash.

I’d never not watched “The Ball.”

It was beautiful.

A little while later, we all formed groups and took the train to Manhattan where the show was at. The show was fantastic, I listened to and watched every note come alive to keep us awake until 6am and beyond.

Dan and I recruited one of the girls at the party & concert to take us to a place to eat. We couldn’t find one, so we finally walked into a deli and they had a grill going. Finally at about 8am we started the 2 hour drive back. Well, Dan did. I slept for most of it as my hangover began to kick in big time. As I get older, I have more and more difficulty enjoying a night with alcohol. It’s kind of a shame in some respects, but I’m not complaining either.

Videos of her serenading us with The Cure & Radiohead while at the party are up at my YouTube. Pictures are here.

Oh, Christmas has also come and gone. It was ok.
I miss being 7.

For some reason, Lee Anne has not spoken to me since late August. Well, even that was only a friendly reply to a text I sent. It’s probably been since May since I SPOKE to her. She was able to tell me she’s ok, though… she just can’t communicate with me right now. That was via text circa late October, early November. I don’t know what’s going on there. This is highly unusual and I’d be OK with whatever her reasons are, if only I knew why.

Heart surgery. Oh, my poor, achy, breaky heart.
Less than 18 days away, now.

A lot of people are asking if I’m nervous. No, not really. I’m more nervous about the trip and preparations and making sure I don’t forget anything, etc. Once I’m there, I mean, I’ll be in the care of some of the nation’s best hands. So, no. Not nervous about the surgery.

I’ve installed my itinerary on the side, there, for everyone. You can see the schedule I’ll be going by. If I’ve got nothing going on, it means I’m at the hotel. Cleveland Clinic Guest House. But, you can probably reach me on my cell. I’ll be tweeting as much as I can throughout the process. The tweets may be just a picture. Who knows. But it should be fun. Full blog posts when I can, too. I’ll have access to all my emails but it would be more convenient for me if you wrote me at the address listed on the “TOUCH” page.

I’m also buying a new livingroom set because the one I have now takes up so much room. New couch, coffee table, and TV stand. I am having THE WORST LUCK selling on Craigslist! Everyone I talk to says they had no issues. ALL I’M HAVING IS ISSUES! First of all, 95% of the people who respond to my ads are scammers. I can tell because their text is obviously a canned reply, and/or they’re asking questions which the ad already answered, and/or they’re speaking in broken english which wouldn’t be so bad except when I first started this, I gave them the benefit of the doubt and sure enough, they were going to “send me a money order” and send out their “movers” to get my items to deliver it to them who are conveniently living in another country. So… no more broken english. No one signs their emails with a name at all. It’s very impersonal and no one’s trusting the other person, it’s so obvious. But I had two bites on my old Blackberry (which I’m also selling) and both guys disappeared the day we were supposed to meet. They stopped returning my calls and never showed up. And today, a woman was going to buy my coffee table but her husband decided at the last minute to keep their old one and I was left at home waiting for them when I could have been running errands. At least she called, though.

I need to sell this stuff within 8-10 weeks, which is when all my new stuff will be ready and delivered together. But there’s no way I’m going to just give the stuff away for ridiculous prices. That’s not cool.

So, here are the things I’m selling. A couch, a coffee table, and a Blackberry Curve. If you know anyone looking for this stuff, let them know asap. Thanks. And yes, I’m gonna have to deal with the moving of this furniture while I’m recovering. I should be OK, though.
COUCH: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/fuo/978353805.html
COFFEE TABLE: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/fuo/978356176.html
BLACKBERRY: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/ele/980554202.html

Also, if you’re an expert on selling on Craigslist, tell me what the hell I’m doing wrong? I’ve put these 3 items up at least 7 times now. I think people are only looking for dirt cheap or free shit on here. Stupid.