Don’t worry, this’ll all be interesting when I’m dead.

It’s the night before Thanksgiving. You know there’s something wrong with your life when you’re sitting at home with nothing to do on this night.

In other news…
My hair’s getting long, EH???

Tally Hall. What can I say about them that I haven’t said before? They’re goddamn geniuses.

Their video for Good Day was quite an accomplishment. It was surely one of the most impressive works I’ve seen, aside from the lack of artistic visuals & cinematography which I love so much in the works of such directors as Mark Romanek.

So the latest episode of Tally Hall’s Internet Show is basically a 10 minute long music video for their song Two Wuv, which is about a young man’s unhealthy obsession with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. The placing of the credits in the beginning is a statement that THAT should be considered the beginning of the music video.

This is a modern day Thriller. Tally Hall likes to bend the rules a bit with what the common perception of pop music is and this video is bending the rules of what you typically consider a music video. I hope you ignore your A.D.D. and sit here for a few minutes to enjoy the subtle genius of this.

Well, I am fairly certain I sent a billion tweets out for no one but myself. I guess that’s OK.

The end result of the trip is that the doctor recommends I have the surgery. He’s not even comfortable with waiting until the Spring, when I wanted. He recommends January. Now I have to figure out how I’m gonna do this because I apparently can’t do this on my own. So… most likely my mom’s gonna have to come out with me and then when I come home, I’ll be staying with her for a little. However, we’re not sure how she’s gonna pay for all that. So it’s kind of up in the air but I have to make a decision within a week or so.

If you’d like to see the pictures I took during my ride, my stay, and my ride back, you can sit and stare at these or just go directly to the album by clicking the link underneath the slideshow. You’ll also get to see them full-size if you click ‘em.

*sigh*

http://picasaweb.google.com/auxzealot/ClevelandTripNovember2008#

EDIT:
The other day I mentioned a video of the hotel room. Here it is.

I thought I was through the worst of it but here in Somerset, I've hit it again. Ugh.

Holy wow. The winter storm just kicked into high gear. In just a few mins, the whole area is covered in white. Dunno if this picture does it justice but ill attach it.

This hotel is way above what I've ever experienced.

Valet parking. I never had that. I was visibly confused by how to handle everything.

Multiple tiny rooms in my suite. Was gonna try and attach a video here of it but I can't. Maybe I can get it on YouTube later.

So it took me, what, 8 hours or so? Not too bad. I wonder if anyone kept up with my Twitter updates along the way. Click Twitter on the sidebar to go to my tweets page and read through them if you'd like.
Last time I stayed in Cleveland was back in '97 I think when I took a Greyhound out here to visit Melanie. Wish I knew how she was doing.

Gonna relax now. Wakeywakey up early tomorrow. Byebye.

Going through some hidden archives of my writing.
Came across a few things that, I have to admit, I’m quite impressed by. Most of it I don’t even remember writing. I’m glad I did, though. Perhaps I’ll share more publicly here as time goes on.

I wrote a number of pieces through the telling of a fictional story, or a fictional story based on real-life events; a mixing of reality, metaphor, and fantasy. This is one of them.

12/22/05

“I wasn’t really in that bad of a mood,” I recalled to myself later in the evening. I remember walking into the hall of tears and cheers and looking at all the paintings on the wall. They were animated, but lifeless and soaking wet. They forgot where they were for a moment and couldn’t remember their way back. It’s just that they’ve been hanging there for so long.

I felt someone tugging at my shirt but there was no one behind me. I think someone’s been trying to hang me on that wall. I’m a little too lucid for that, still. They’ll keep trying harder. I somehow missed the placement of one single eye screw stuck in my shoulder blade. Here I thought I just had a pinched nerve!

This was here yesterday. Not the screw, the whole deal. I put this in my sockdrawer, didn’t I? Shoved it in the back, didn’t I? I thought the sock goblins would come and eat it up like they do with the other things that get pushed back there. How did this get out? Why am I seeing it again? I feel like clicking my heels together and chanting an infamous line.

I was through your veins not long ago. Like everything else, it passes. Soon there could be nothing that remains the same as it is right this second. Soon, there could be nothing at all. But I’ve got a stint up my sleeve, I suppose, because some things will never fade away.

And I’ve been on the verge of tears for reasons I can’t finger. (that’s not a pun)
Is it the holiday season of which I am not really participating in this year? Couldn’t be. Guilt from eating too much? No. I think it’s just feeling powerless over my entire life right now, especially because I had such a firm grasp on it not too long ago.

What’s another term for “missing you” ? I can’t find a good word that describes the feeling of missing someone so very badly it seems to cause exhaustion and fatigue. How would you say that? I’m fatigued by the ____ that I am feeling. By the “missing-you-feeling” that I’m feeling? NO!! There’s gotta be something.

So I had these water-words boiling in me and I don’t know if I soothed it or not. I’m thinking not, but it’s not burning me so much anymore.

I gotta stop now anyway because I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open. It’s funny how much I bore myself.

But I’m still here. As usual. As always. And I’m definitely looking forward to a day off tomorrow/today. I need it.

Amen.

On Sunday morning I’ll be departing on a long drive headed for The Cleveland Clinic in Ohio to meet with one of the nation’s top specialists in the world of Hypertrophic Obstructive Cardiomyopathy. I haven’t seen it, but I heard the most recent episode of Grey’s Anatomy featured a patient with this condition.

I will go through a full day of testing to determine if I qualify for a septal myectomy (an open-heart surgery). There is a very good chance I will qualify, at which point I will be scheduling the surgery for this coming Spring.

Today was spent trying to work out approvals, etc. to make sure I’ll be covered for all this. Quite a headache. I disagree with any company outsourcing their call centers overseas, but I particularly hate that health insurance companies do it now. Having worked for a health insurance company and trying to deal with people in another country who really have NO idea how things work over here and don’t have a clue what anything you say means, it’s especially awful when I’m an actual patient trying to get answers. They might as well be robots. I feel like hanging up as soon as I know I was routed into an overseas call center. So I just allowed them to give me all the wrong answers and get me upset only to get a totally different set of answers once I spoke to someone here in the states.

So I’ll be spending 2 nights in OH once I arrive, drive back Tuesday morning and I’m back to work on Wednesday with a clearer idea of the future that lies ahead of me.

For those wondering what’s going on with Circuit Theory, here’s the answer: Tom and I have agreed we want to continue working together writing songs, but we’re burnt out a bit at the moment – plus with things like my impending surgery, our lives are kind of preventing us to take anything seriously. So with any luck, we’ll toss ideas back and forth for awhile and once I’m healed, we’ll look at the possibility of seeking out additional band-mates… but the earliest that could happen is probably Summer ‘09.

I like to re-post this every once in awhile. It was written by an old blogger friend named Sarah (a.k.a. Timtom).

“Maybe these aren’t the shit times, maybe it’ll always be like this. Probably not for you. You usually get what you want.

I remember though, my A level teacher was always talking about Deferred Gratification. How us 6th formers were doing the right thing, and we’d get our rewards later, and they’d be better for it. Then, they said the same thing at university. I feel like I should be sending off for my gratification now.

Maybe it’ll be like when I applied for a provisional driving license last month. They wrote back saying ‘But you’re already allowed to drive until 2047, Sarah.’ And I’d thrown out the last one assuming it had run out. Maybe it’ll be like that.

They’ll say, ‘You’ve already got your gratification, Sarah. This is how much you get.’”