So far.

had a theory at the start of the contest, when I had but one person (Liz) there to support me. The theory was that I had no chance in hell to win the thing. This theory was justified a bit when they announced a last minute voting catagory. For this new catagory the judges add points for crowd reaction. …yeah.
And so what really solidified this theory for me was when I actually got up to sing and still had only Liz there supporting me.

Wouldn’t you know… they picked a male and female winner for the night. I was runner-up for males, which means nothing. But as much as I am not so surprised that I didn’t win, it kills me to know that I had a very good chance of winning had I had a group of people there yelling their heads off… you know… like the winners did.
So thanks.

It never ceases to amaze me how I have this list of “friends” I send invites out to once in a blue moon, be it for a party, a show, or some random event like this, and I get one or two responses. It’s a lack of closeness, I suppose, with these people. I mean little to nothing to them when it comes down to it, stripping away the fake smiles and hellos and “how have you been?” Yet… I still think they would. Why bother anymore, really?

I should have a sub-title to my name or myself in general: Runner Up. I’m always the runner up.

“Someone’s always beating me. Someone’s always quicker.
Someone’s always sipping from your sunflower petals with total disregard.”

So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So close. So far. So far. So far.

Dammit, man! My life is going well. I’ve been happy for christ’s sake. Why must I be brought down to this place I know and hate so well? This is the shit we all must scrape from our plates. It’s not worth the disappointment. It’s not what I need. No one does. Do what you gotta do to keep your head above water. It’s all we got.