Alright, back from a weekend spent somewhere else and my heart is still stuck in my throat. It’s difficult to swallow it all down. I wish, on so many levels, I had another month of days to spend somewhere else.

My dad is back in ICU and had to be put on dialysis. His mind has formed another reality, most likely due to the treatment. He’ll talk to imaginary people and barely hold a conversation with the people really there beside him. His heart is working on its own but his liver has virtually failed and his kidneys aren’t doing much at all. His days are almost up, I can feel it. The reality of it has begun to set in for me. I’m trying to keep my strength up.

Let me be free from this vice, this test of might, this test of will. Grant be some serenity and solace and peace. Please.

“I hear them coming, The Blue Parade. They’re throwing snowflakes and singing my name. In deep blue voices I hear them say, ‘There’s good love out there, just you wait…’”