I had a dream last night that I died.  It was amazing.

I wish I remembered more.  I can only remember a couple visuals but the feelings are so vivid and real and they’re still with me.  I recall a large house I was brought to.  Large and old.  All wood.  Dimly lit.  And I remember a group of others that were brought here, too.  I believe I was outside at some point, in narrow paths along the sides of the house and the bushes guarding it.  I recall growing more and more tired throughout the time there.  I think the others were there to die, too.

I remember being brought into a large room with a circular stone bath.  It was like a large bowl, 8 feet in diameter, sitting in the center of this intensely detailed, handcarved wooden room.  The room was dark but the water was lit.  I think there may have been a small moat around the bath, too.  I’m not sure.  I was thinking this is where they were letting us go.  I recall some interaction with the others but not a single word has been retained.  It wasn’t where they let us go.

I recall lying down on the grass and trying to scribble out a small blog to you guys.  I wanted to reach out and say goodbye to you all, thanking a few, letting some know how much I’d stay if I knew I could spend the rest of my days with them.  Literally, I was trying to scribble it on a piece of paper that would then become the blog.  But I was so tired I could barely write.  I was ecstatic, though.   I was nervous and excited.  It was something unknown and inevitable about to come at any minute.  I was at peace.  Total… complete… pure peace.  I had no worries.  And my eyes opened up and I found myself on my bed, here.  I awoke… barely conscious, but I thought to myself, “Am I dying?  Here?  Should I get up or let this take me?”  And I was so tired I couldn’t move.  I couldn’t move my arms if I wanted to — and I didn’t want to.  I felt that may disturb this blessed peace.  So, I closed my eyes and let it take me. 

But I eventually woke up again and found myself slightly behind schedule for work.

“I think it’s kinda funny.  I think it’s kinda sad.  The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.  I find it hard to tell you.  I find it hard to take.  When people run in circles it’s a very, very… mad world.”