I’m a cynical optimistic.  I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, but I hope you do.

 

My dad’s been in the hospital for a couple weeks now.  I haven’t blogged about it because it wasn’t all that serious.  He went to his cardiologist’s for a check-up and was admitted to the ER when the Dr. saw how bad he was.  He was treated in one hospital while they did some testing.  He was transferred to another, a preferred one, where he stayed for a couple days until last Friday when he was put into ICU while they did a heart catheterization.  I think he still has the stint in and he’ll be in ICU until they take it out.  They’re investigating his heart, liver, and kidneys.  The kidneys are looking fine.  His heart is looking OK, aside from the fact that it’s never looking good.  His liver is in question.  Apparently, the doctors mentioned, for the first time, “the T word” as my dad put it.  Transplant.  Now, I’m not sure if he was referring to his heart or liver.  Both could use it.  But my dad doesn’t want to take a transplant away from a more deserving person.  He feels the end is inevitable and why prolong it?  Who’s to argue, really…

I’ve been taking care of the turtles while he’s been gone. 

I really wish I could be around water.  I think I have a love for it that I never really acknowledged.  I’ve actually thought about being an aquatic animal trainer.   

You know… we are all animals.  Why can’t we live like the rest of them?  Because we’re smarter?  OK, you watch a bird fly over your head today.  Tell me you never wanted to fly like that.  Watch a turtle for an hour and tell me who has it better.  Watch a man, waking up bright and early, suit and tie, weaving through traffic to get to work on time to earn a precious dime to pay the bills which someone else gave him, in hopes that he’ll have enough money left over to buy himself something to make him temporarily happy and give his children a better life than his.  Yeah… who’s smarter now?

And don’t give me that shit about the wild predators they always are dodging.  We’re dodging predators every day, too.  Our own neighbors.  Our own kind.

One of the two turtles died yesterday.  Not my fault, though… the damn thing wouldn’t eat.  She passed an egg a couple weeks ago and I don’t think she’s been able to recover from it.  I would put food right in front of her, distract the other turtle, and she still refused to even take one bite.  I was hoping she was just still pregnant and when the other egg came, she’d start eating again.  But… the egg never came.  The end was inevitable.