Don’t worry, this’ll all be interesting when I’m dead.

Fahrenheit 9/11. It’s just something you have to see. It’s your duty and your right to know the other side in order to make smart and informed decisions and opinions. ‘Nuff said.

Damn, I got a guestmap signing from the country of Ibiza.

Ibizacans don’t mind signing it. Why do YOU?

This really is interesting… the idea of writing a movie. I want to create something off the wall and something that really helps to put people and their instincts in a different and visible light. One that focuses on what we would do if we weren’t so concerned with consequences like arrest, embarrassment, beatings, or offending people.

The elevator door closes while Jack catches a glance of the tall, overweight, and sad looking blonde. She works on the same floor, but they’ve never spoken. They’ve even ridden the elevator down alone on numerous occasions.

Jack nods and bows his head with a look that he’s already accepted that.

“Yeah.”

*note: I’m posting this without fear of consequences like arrest, embarrassment, beatings, or offending people.

If April showers bring May flowers… what do all these June showers bring?

Some of us are amused by people. I am completely and utterly annoyed by them. The way they drive, the way they act, the way they think… The general ignorance among the crowd. Sorry.

Is it wrong that I’ve created my state of mind, religion, and philosophies from movies and music? I’d like to think not. It’s rare for someone to develop these types of things with their own free thought. It had to happen a few times, but it were those people that spread the word to the rest of us. I may talk like Chuck Palahniuk at times, or look to Maynard as a God among us, but I give them the credit for helping me see the other sides of things which they give credit to others for. I’ve taken what I’ve learned and it gives me direction, mentally. I base new theories and philosophies from what I’ve learned. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll have others crediting me later in life. I like that idea.

I like those who dream of fairytales and fantasies. It’s the fantasy that keeps us living, right? Without a dream, without a greener pasture, what else are you living for? If you lost all hope for something better… something fantastically good… why bother anymore? No matter how much hope you think you’ve lost, you’re still here because you’re waiting for that certain something. It’s those who acknowledge that who I admire most.

So acknowledge your dreams and live for your fairytales and sing when no one is looking.

In fact, sing when everyone’s looking.

Maybe I will write a screenplay. I’ve already got the first scene down. Now I just gotta figure out the rest…

/begin scene…

/black background as opening credits begin appearing

/the overdub of Jack’s voice begins…

“I can do everything. Except dance.

I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.

/fade in very slowly of a close up of Jack’s 25 year old face

I survive in people’s minds for more than one reason. Without them, I expire.

And when I love someone, I love because I see myself in them. I tend to hate people for the same reason.

/black has faded all the way out to full color and camera begins to move in and fix itself on Jack’s eyes

I believe it’s the creation and evolution of the civilized world that’s made my people so uncivil.

So I carry on to find that which I can master and make myself more alive than just in someone’s mind.”

/the eyes are intense and a few seconds of silence after the rant is broken by a man’s voice

“That’s great. Can I have my fries?”

/New shot of Jack, full body, donning a McDonald’s uniform

/Jack blinks, turns around and grabs the man his fries, placing them on the tray

/Customer grabs tray and walks off camera

/end scene

Big Fish is a good movie. I recommend it… as it’s apparently a movie a few thought I would like to see though no one said it. I did want to see it but only because it was Tim Burton… I knew nothing of the premise which I will share with you now:

Big Fish is referring to a character who was metaphorically a big fish in a small pond. He was bound by the walls that surrounded him. So he left. Like a children’s version of The Matirx 1 — you know there’s something greater out there and you’ve always felt that. Here’s your chance to go and find it.

I’ve been having this recurring thought since watching it. I’m a big fish… in a sense. Though I don’t look at it the same way he was. I’m not a special person, but I am a soul not meant for this life. This life/lifestyle, I’m sorry, is just not for me. There’s something out there, different from here. I want to be like Thoreau. I want to leave it all behind and live in the woods where I live by my own rules and my responsibility is limited to the one and only most important responsibility a living being is meant to have: to survive. I couldn’t do it… not alone. Who’s with me?

No. I must remember that this society and lifestyle is limited to the environment I know so well. I must remember that other areas of the country, of the world, are different from this. I must remember that people are different in their respective areas. Would I be happy in the entertainment industry? Would I be happy in the woods? Would I be happy in Canada? I don’t know. I am too too too scared to do it on my own. For now, at least… — Who’s with me?

The meaning of life is not found in a degree. It’s not found in a paycheck or a promotion. It’s not found in a new car or a new hairdo.

It’s found in this blog. The searching and spelunking, digging deep within yourself and finding out what it’s not. It’s a conclusion no one can answer but yourself. This strange world I am searching for will never come to me. I must seek it out. But the problem is that I’m too involved in this wasteland to get out. I’m buried. As I said, I can’t do it alone.

Even Thoreau eventually grew bored of the woods.