Don’t worry, this’ll all be interesting when I’m dead.

I SUPPORT STILE!

AND SO SHOULD YOU!

“We live in a 72 dpi world!”

This is what a customer had said to me today. It is my “Quote of the Day.”

Think about it, though. It really is. Everything is image and where are most of our images seen now-a-days? Immediatly is not fast enough, we need things bigger, better, faster, brighter, sharper, and get more and more fristrated at the deteriorating service we are presented it with.

John wasn’t at Newark. He got off the plane and was informed about his connecting flight. They provided an option for him to take Amtrak to Baltimore but his baggage will arrive later by plane. I was there for 5 hours looking for him. In contact with his mother… who finally heard from him and let me know.

I bought a cell phone. It will be activated subsequently. It better be soon, but knowing my work (it’s through work) it’ll not happen in time. I am going away to Ocean City, NJ for a week starting 9/17. I need it by then. I invited my dad to a Phillies game (he’s been a fan for life) and he’s so weak, he doubts he’ll be able to make it. It’s just that bad. Anyone want to go to a Phillies game?

It’s all fucked up.

I wish I had the time to go into it but I was distracted.. and now I don’t. But I’m sure John’s home by now……… I guess.

I am awakened by a call from Rebecka (spelling?) who is one of John’s roomates out there in Eugene, OR. No wait… Let me back up a bit…

John’s Flight Schedule

Leaving PDX at 7:30am PST

Arriving at EWR (Newark, NJ) at around 4:00-4:30pm EST

::hang around EWR for a couple hours::

Leave for BWI (Baltimore, MD) and arrive there around 7:30pm EST

John originally thought they would let him get off at Newark and I’ll pick him up there. Later we learned that is not allowed.

So to Baltimore was the plan.

Back to where I wake up

Rebecka tells me after getting back from dropping John off at the airport, that there’s a message from the airlines telling him that the flight to Baltimore was cancelled. He can take a later flight if he’d like.

So now I have to go to Newark. I’m not sure of the arrival time. I should get there around 4pm at latest. Meaning: I must leave soon.

He better be there. I don’t know the flight nor the gate, but I think I’ll be OK.

What a pain in the ass.

Sometimes, when life hits you from all sides, your thought patterns can get so tangled. This can be classified as “confusion.” But it causes a different reaction that the normal everyday “confusion.” This feeling is more extreme. I can not think of a word that aptly describes it, but it tends to focus more on sadness then anything.

When you realize you’re not as alone in the world… when you meet someone who’s too perfect for words and erasing all previous thoughts that that person couldn’t exist…. then meeting more of them…. reaffirming your doubts on humans.

Then seeing how someone you once thought was pretty close to perfect, whom you admired greatly, and expressed to them your admiration, seem to completely erase you from their “friends and acquaintances” folder in their brain. It hurts.

Doesn’t matter if you don’t talk anymore. Doesn’t matter if you don’t agree with some things. Doesn’t matter at all…. there was a past. A history and a bond. That cannot be erased. It can only be denied and the reasons behind “WHY” are left unanswered.

New to cozbaldwin.com!

THE COZCAM!

Thanks to Lane for helping me find the right software for it. Stupid Logitech stopped making it so you can upload to your own pages. So anyway, I’m one more step closer to being just ike everyone else.

I am on a free trial download of the program (www.webcam32.com) so after 10 days, it might go down for a little, while I make it a permanent thing.

Enjoy!

Nice, nice, nice photographer.

He doesn’t know me. I was talking to “Rachel” who you’ll see in his portfolio… and so the story begins…

LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —- LoOk WhAt i gOT!!!! —-

Ha hee hee hoooo hooooo!!!!!! Wheeeeee!!

So now what?

John comes home on Tuesday, I have to drive to Baltimore to pick him up.

Hopefully he’ll be getting a job at my store (assuming he *wants* to) and we’ll have another associate. We’re running really low on those at the store. It’s becoming very difficult and time consuming.

*tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all* — *tell all*

The anonymous person (see archives: July 16th and 18th and July 28th)

is a girl named Tricia.

Whether or not I should be talking about this is questionable… but what the fuck, right?

The other night I told her, all. She was surprised… and essentially admitted to having a crush on me as well, if you want to call it that. But she’s not your average girl, as she warned me. The many things she said didn’t convince me of anything I didn’t already know or care about. So we hung out last night and it was funny. I was quiet and really didn’t know what to say (not that I had to… her friends joined us and kept us company for the entire 5 hours we were at The Country Squire) and I think I just felt better knowing that she knew. And then there was nothing…

She just learned she’s moving in a week, so she won’t be at work anymore and unless she enjoys my quiet, observatious company and invites me to hang out… I just may never see her again. Wierd.

S’ok. She told me about all her mental issues which didn’t phase me a bit. She told me her issues with intimacy and I knew then and there that I couldn’t have a relationship with her. There will definitely always be a strange, small place in my heart for her, though. She made me feel like a little kid again, with my secret crush on the little girl that sat next to me. She helped me realize I wasn’t as numb to those things as I thought.

I found it amusing how she kept trying to change my mind. Her intentions were good… she was just trying to make sure I “knew what I was getting in to.” But I think if she wanted to, I’d surely still jump at the chance.

Have you ever said something that made you feel like you were breaking the sound barrier in your mind? A weight on your chest so heavy, so solid, so pure, and it’s been sitting on top of you for what feels like an eternity, and in an instant you let it go.

And it’s gone. It won’t be there when you wake up tomorrow. It won’t be there, stuttering your words. It won’t matter, because it’s not there.

I can breathe. I am born again.